Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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