The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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