Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
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so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize