Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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