Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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