She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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