Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
