Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
