honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
