And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
