And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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