i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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