You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
