it's like iHOP with fire
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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