she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
