its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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