you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
