It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
