So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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