Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
