i permit you to call me
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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