guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
