I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I lost the right to judge tonight
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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