That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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