I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
