love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
