I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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