I heard we made out
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
