he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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