I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
