sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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