I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
