I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize