I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Holy sore nipples Batman
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
