Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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