she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize