a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
