i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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