Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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