His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
