i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
