Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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