FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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