do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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