That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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