New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who died my cat blue again?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
