16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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