I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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