How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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