You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
