Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
