First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
