Even the bartender felt bad for me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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