Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
