maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
