But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
third nipple confirmed
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
