He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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