and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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