We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize