we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
