I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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