someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
