Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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